Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Someone who had made your life hell...

I've had my fair share of mean people throughout my life and it's kind of hard to pick just one...and that makes me feel sorry for all of those people who just like to hurt others to make themselves feel better. As I'm sitting here typing this, pictures of different people have been popping into the front of my mind...they are mostly girls I've known, but some are guys. (I haven't had a whole lot of good interaction with the opposite sex, but some very special guys have made up for it!)

I had picked someone, but as I began to think of how to put everything into words, another face jumped to the front of my mind and a pain and anger I hadn't felt in a while rose up within me. SO I figure I should write about her...

Her name is Ali. We met our freshman year of high school at volleyball and we were instant friends. I really liked her. We got along well and we had a lot in common. By the end of our first year we were pretty much inseparable and I could see us being good friends for the rest of our lives.

Sophomore year started off great! I had a lot of good friends, which was more than I could say when I entered high school, and I was doing well in my classes. I knew people from all grades because I was so involved with everything and I loved it! There was a friend of mine, Steve, who was one of my favorite people. We were basically brother and sister. Ali told me she really liked Steve, and I knew he would fall for her easy because she was so great, so I played matchmaker. They hit it off even better than I thought. But then the storm came...

Ali had started acting weird toward me. Cold. Stand-offish. I asked her if everything was ok, and she said yes. But then one day she handed me a note that torn me apart. She said she felt like I was "trying to steal her boyfriend" and that she felt she "had to be the bitchy girlfriend."

I basically died inside. I would NEVER do that. And I repeat, NEVER DO THAT. Plus it didn't make any sense to me since I SET THEM UP.

So my little happy world of friends began to crumble around me. Quite a few of the girls Ali and I had spent time with together began to take sides. And they all took hers, which again, I didn't understand why. It may have been me thinking they were since I was in a deep state of depression due to this accusation. I felt like I had no friends and that no one liked me anymore. I was in theatre but I felt isolated because she was too. At that point, we had signed up to watch the little kids that were in Cinderella but she went to the director and asked to be taken off "for the good of the kids."

From there I kept losing things. Steve eventually called me in the fall and told me he couldn't be friends with me anymore. I kept feeling more and more isolated and that no one liked me. I was so unhappy and I felt like no one cared. I lost what little confidence I had and it took a really long time to get it back. Once I stopped caring what other people thought about me and embraced the few friends that truly cared about me at the time, I was so much happier.

I know this was stupid high school drama, but it really hurt me at the time and sometimes I remember how I felt and I hurt all over again. I think it's one of those wounds that won't ever heal completely. I probably could have picked someone else who treated me worse, but this one, for some reason, still bothers me.

The things that I do like to remember though are how awesome my friends are and how much I love them. And how, without them, I wouldn't be here right now.

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