Boys make me angry sometimes...

OK, boys, you are very very very frustrating. You get mad at us girls because you think we're speaking "in code." Well, guess what. We aren't. We say what we mean and we mean what we say. (At least I do...) Yes, I know there are those "crazy girls" out there that like to play mind games because they want you to be confused as all hell, but there are a lot of us out there that don't want to do that.

So getting to my point...LISTEN TO US. Listen because what we are saying usually has some important meaning to us and listening gets you things...like cookies. Pushing us doesn't make us want to do something, it makes us just do it to make you happy even though we are miserable. Compromising is awesome. Try it.

This is my story about why boys anger/frustrate me.

As you all know I just got out of a super serious relationship that I'm still sad about and that I'm working so hard to get over. This guy named Patrick just doesn't seem to get it...

I met him in my English class over the summer. He's super nice and super sweet and his is a cutie pie. The other day he made it very well known to me that he likes me. A lot. I'm flattered but I'm not sure that I'm totally "into him" like he is "into me." I was thinking, perhaps, that I was looking for bad qualities in him so that way I had a reason to turn him down. So I decided to be open-minded. This didn't really change much. I feel like he has been being a really clingy girl the past few days. He texted me all the time, and when I didn't respond because A) I had nothing to say or B) I was busy doing something he would text me again.

Now, I told him the very basic, my boyfriend broke up with me and I'm still sad about it, story. I also said that I didn't think I was ready for this. He said, that's why we'll take things "slow." (Why he needed the quotes, I don't know) But I know I'm not ready. I'm still sad and I still cry every once in awhile. I mean, I miss my best friend and the guy who was going to be with me forever...who wouldn't miss that person and need an exhorbanant amount of time to get over it?

I'm thinking I'm going to tell him I can't go on a date with him. I'm not ready for all of this. It's too much drama. I'm not happy by myself yet, so how could I be happy and make someone else happy when I, myself, am not happy? (sorry if that was confusing...) Basically, I need to be happy on my own. I need to know, completely, who I am. I lost myself several months ago (even before my break up) and I need to find myself. Plus, I'm leaving in four months for a country far far away. Why would I do that to myself, or to someone else?

Now, I know I've sounded quite bitchy about Patrick...and I know that that is bad, but I don't know how else to put it. He's been trying to show off but I've been feeling like it's really pompous behavior. It bugs me. It also bugs me that I can't get the space I need to be single to get over this pain. I don't want to jump from one relationship to another. That isn't me. And who WANTS to be a rebound? That just sounds crazy to me....

Ok...angry, bitchy rant over.

P.S.- Insight is always appreciated.