Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie

...Put the chevy to the levy, but they levy was dry. And good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye, singin' this'll be the day that I die.

What and AWESOME song. I don't know what it popped in my head, it just did. And I'm ok with that.

Right now I'm sitting in my bed in Geneva, WIDE AWAKE. I hate that. My three roomies are dead asleep. Anya is up in her bed snoring away and talking about something that someone is giving her in her dream. I gotta remember to ask her what it is that she was dreaming about...I probably won't, which will suck...damn you, you incompetent memory!!!

Today kind of sucked. Not gonna lie. I was alone for the most part in the beginning. Everyone has classes all day on Tuesdays and I do not. I got up late and then I just kinda lolled around. Not. A. Fan. Plus it didn't help that I had a load of dung on my brain that was just not cool.

I hate missing everyone and everything. It makes my life not fun and ya know what?! My life should be nothing short of fun. I'm in flipping Europe. So you know what I did?! I went to H&M and bought some clothes. Yay...shopping at an American store. I'm so broadening my horizons here...NOT.

Anyway, I thought that since I can't sleep at all and I've been trying to for over and hour and I've read and done deep breathing to try and coax myself into unconciousness and nothing has worked, that I would actually write for my 30 Days of Truth. I know you're shocked. It's like I forgot about it or something...ha...ha...ha...why would I ever do that? You must be crazy...

Something or someone you could live without

So. Something or someone....hmmmm....well, I would think I would have to pick sadness. I hate being sad and I've done enough of that crap this past year. I would like to kick sadness in the ass and tell it to get crack-a-lackin' out of my life.

I mean, who likes to be sad except masocistic people?! I have noooo room to talk,although I've been really really really good lately. You should be TOTALLY proud of me :D just sayin'... But for real. Being sad blows more than losing your finger to a table saw. It's stupid, unnecessary, and painful. Especially since it usually happens in an unexpected way... I mean, who EXPECTS to saw off their finger? I mean really. And it's hard to get over being sad. I know it took me a long time and some days I still need to smack myself really hard in the face and yes I do mean literally smack myself in the face... to snap myself back to reality and stop myself from doing something stupid. Like being a facebook stalker. Go. Me. I rock. NOT.

I know I didn't do a resolution post like most bloggers. I think it's because I don't know if I have ever actually kept a resolution. Plus they're usually something stupid like, "Oh, this year I'm going to stop being a porker and actually take care of myself and lose weight." Guess who alway loses that one? Omg, you're right! It's me!!!

This year is different though. I'm not making a resolution so much as a goal. I know, I know, they're practically the same thing. But I don't want to make this goal just for 2011. I want to make it for my life. I want to make it a goal to continue to be happy. I've worked my little butt and I mean literally, I basically have no ass left off this year to be a better and happier person. I like who I've become. I've come into my own and I've gotten rid of the sad for the most part and I like that. I think that 2011 is the beginning of something that could be great and I'm looking forward to what is going to happen. Not only on this little trip of mine, but for the rest of my life. I think it could be something great.

1 comment:

  1. Ahh, sadness, how I loath thee. I think it's weird that I read this blog right after I sent you a comment asking how you were sleeping... sometimes I just don't know about us. (the sleeping was more in referance to your bruises, which are lovely by the way). Obvioulsy I think you hit on a good goal, I'm thinking that I would love to help you with this as long as you help me with mine. :) Just seeing you makes me happy (and I will be getting Davids supah fancy web cam very soon because I coerced him into giving it to me!!! Yay guilt!!!). Second thing I can do for you is practice making chocolate lava cake and practice eating it too. For the love of pete, it's the least I can do.