Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Is it possible?

This is my question of the day: Is it possible to be so overwhelmingly stressed that you have no idea where to start the monumental amount of work you KNOW you need to get done, yet just feel so good and so happy?

Apparently, it is.

The past few weeks have literally been a blur. I have no idea how it's December 8th and that this semester is basically over. Thank the Lord, btw, because I really don't kow how much longer i could take all this learning... This week I had two days of super hell! So. Much. Writing. I never want to leave that much writing until the last moment again. Though sadly, I know that I will because I am a true procrastinator.

Anyway, I got it alllll done! I felt soo relieved afterward. So I went home and celebrated by making the most delicious chicken parm I have ever made (seeing as it was the ONLY chicken parm I have ever personally made...but still.) And brownies. YUM! I love food...hahaha! I'm so glad I have an appetite again...

At therapy this week I realized something kind of awesome. I'm happy. Do you know how weird it is to say that?! Because it is! I haven't said those two simple words in I don't know how long. I've told people they make me happy, but I haven't just, in general, felt genuinely happy. I've always had some stupid worry getting me down or something stupid that I thought was making my world crash down around me. If I've learned one thing over the past few months it's that nothing is as bad as we think it is and that if you just give yourself some time, you'll figure things out. I need to give myself more credit for things I do...I am a great person (she says so humbly...)

And I LIKE being happy. I'm giddy, like all the time. I make silly comments and silly faces and I just have fun. I try not to worry about what other people think of me because I can't be anything other than myself, and I like myself. THIS IS SO WEIRD THAT I'M THINKING THESE THINGS!

Yes, I still miss the butt face, especially since, for some reason. he has been on my mind a lot this week, and no, I don't know why. I told my therapist I had a weird feeling and he immediately popped into my thoughts and that I think something may have happened with the "hoe" because when they started dating I got a similar feeling, he thinks I'm very "intune with the universe." I just think I'm psychic. Same thing? But I still feel happy. I'm able to keep going. When he pops into my head I'm all like, CRAAAPPP, go away! and then I focus my energy elsewhere. Like, GENEVA!

Geneva is seriously right around the corner. I think somewhere in the ballpark of 22ish days. I didn't count on a calander. I leave January 3rd! AHHH!!! It's sooo close! There was a meeting on Saturday all about travelling and stuff and I just cannot wait to be there and see EVERYTHING because I WILL see EVERYTHING. This is NOT a want or a goal, it's a mandated, do it or die situation. When the heck else am I going to get to go to Europe?! Honest answer: probably never since I've chosen a career in which I will be supa poor! WOOO!

Anyway, when I'm there I'll be writing about my cool adventures. Maybe THEN I'll get some followers...and if not, whatever! :)


The End.


  1. You are freaking hilarious. I can't think about how much I am going to miss you, but, your blog will keep us together *heart*.

    Also, brownies? WTF mate? I want some. I hope you saved me at least one.

  2. WEellll if you hadn't BAILED on me AGAIN you would have gotten some deliciousness. But alas, there are some left so you may have some.