Friday, June 25, 2010

What makes a family?

Last night on my way home from my grandmother's house, my mom and I had a major heart-to-heart. She and I talk a lot, but usually just about random silly things. Sometimes we do have some really great conversations. Last night for instance we were talking about our family, especially my dad. See, my parents have been divorced for about thirteen years now, and I haven't really ever had a relationship with my Dad. He's a nice guy, sometimes, but usually he's just a jerk. He has never really treated me or my brother, and certainly not my Mom. Over the years I have just grown to accept that I will never have a good, even semi-decent relationship, with the man with whom I share some genes with.

My Mom was getting upset when I was talking to her about it though because she feels bad that she, "picked the wrong man" and she regrets that my brother and I had to go through all of the crap he has put us through. I don't see it that way though. I mean, what IS a family anyway? For me, it's a group of people who love each other unconditionally and no matter what and who would do anything to protect their family and pick them up when they have fallen. My Dad doesn't fit into any of these categories.

For example, last year I asked my Dad to help me buy a car. And by that I meant that I wanted my Dad to co-sign a loan so I could get a car. He would never have to make a payment and I promised him that. But one day he called me and said he bought a car for me and that I could just pay him back over time. First of all, this car is kinda junky. It gets me from point A to point B, but it's usually an adventure because of all of the loud noises he likes to me, yeah, I named him Carlisle(no, not after Twilight). Anyway, after I made my first payment to him he told me that I didn't need to pay him back anymore. This surprised me, but to this day he complains to my brother, "I bought your sister that car, why doesn't she ever call me?" My question here is, "Where were all of your phone calls while I was growing up? Did I just miss all of them?"

This is my family, my Mom and my brother. I have my extended family but my family are those two people. When I was dating Erik, he became my family, but now I have to let that go... These are the two people that I can trust and depend on everyday no matter what. They are the best family I could ever ask for! :)

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